I’ve been up all night. It’s currently 9:30am and I’ve just finished off a fudge pop for breakfast, I’m half-dressed, and watching The Big Bang Theory; an episode I’ve seen dozens of time. I just was looking at a blog from someone I know from high school (www.thebasicslifestyle.com, super cute, go check it out) and I was a bit inspired. Chloe has her life together. She’s recently bought her first house with her boyfriend. I am 26, and struggling to pay rent at a sub-par duplex I share with my best friend. I know people say not to compare yourself to others, but did you miss the part about the fudge pop for breakfast?
Anyway, I have recently had a wake-up call, courtesy of late night depression, an ill-conceived Snapchat, and a very long fight with my best friend. The short version is that I continually make poor decisions and she’s tired of it. I am, as well. I was called selfish and self centered by two different people in one day, so it must be true. But the truth is, ever since that fight, I’ve been feeling much better.
I’ve made a wise (if I do think so myself) decision to stay at my current job, and switch from night shift to day shift. I found that night shift was very draining on me mentally and emotionally and physically. I am a very social person; I thrive on being around people. I look forward to going to work just for that fact. So when I’m put on shift where I’m essentially by myself for 8 hours, and then I have to go home and sleep during the day, and be up at night when everyone else is asleep, it was hard. It was too hard. And I spiraled down fast. After many tears and a long discussion with my boss, I came to a decision I was happy with.
That’s what I do, though. I’m impulsive. I don’t think about decisions. Dwelling on things is not what I do and it’s not good for me, either. (Ask my bank account. Or my mother.) So it wasn’t even 5 minutes after that conversation that I decided I was going to stay. After quickly analyzing pros and cons, I decided that three 12 hour shifts per week would be more conducive to school.
School. At 26 years old, I made the decision to go back to school to get my bachelor’s degree. Again, in true Kim style, impulsively. I haven’t been in school in three years. That may not seem like a lot, but it’s enough to get me out of the swing of things. And it’s enough to make me worry about my finances and time management. I have a presentation due tonight. And I’m not convinced I’m done. I also have 2 papers due next week, and I’m not nearly done. So that’s how that’s going.
I’m getting sleepy, and my alarm is set for noon. I have an appointment with my adviser to register for classes at 2:00pm. I’ve often started blogs with good intentions to keep them up. We will see how this goes.
Cats and love,